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Golden Goddess Guitar Leaderboard

Some Thoughts I'd Like To Share

Calvin Phillips

Music Theory Bragger
Nov 11, 2019
2,263
1,362
I stepped away because of this. I was a daily poster who got no replies. And a big thing I got back was people thought I was defensive. Funny story. William asked me straight up if I was offended by his comments when he watched my recent video. It was actually the opposite. I'm unsure why the impression is i was offended but a simple question from hil solved the problem. He didn't assume he asked and I told him nah it was the opposite. A lot of what he said I liked. It proved my picture was painted.

Point is.. if you just talk to them person rather then assume you'll find out they arent offended. The assumptions and gossip are what belittle things. I've always tried to be outspoken and give my opinions where I felt needed. While some wont always agree they respected it. I also had rebuttals i respected when if they werent what I wanted to hear. It goes both ways. And a debate is 100% harmless.. as long as it doesnt get personal.

I'll admit I distanced myself from the school. Some people know why. Some will never understand. But I kept my eye out and have seen a lot of new faces here recently. The additions and perks added I think are very motivating. And while most may not be able to afford a legend status it's nice to see it rewarded. (My only suggestion is to keep an eye out for the non legends who simply cant afford it. Throw them s bone every now and then I think one seen most contests are legends only gear wise.. but for the legend status rewards I'd include everyone.. you may already be doing that I didnt read the details).

Anyways. There were some i kept in touch and some I met while ive distanced myself. The ones who stuck it out with me I appreciate. I also removed quite a few people from my media st that time. This was merely to avoid the oncoming drama that may have came my way. And wasn't really nothing more then me pushing myself away from everyone. Anyone that wanted to reconnect the door is always there. I just ask one thing.

Dont tell me you support me act like you do but not pay attention to a single thing I've done. I found many people tell me they would be there to support or help. Then come to find they dont follow me anywhere.. not even on the school. I try to follow everyone for the notifications. I check the pages but it's nice knowing when my friends post so I can find it faster. It seemed I followed many.. but didnt get it back. Then the natural assumptions that no work was ever being done. Not seeing the progress then seeing a video that was sloppy and saying "you're still doing the same things not taming my advice". Or not seeing you post anymore when you've live on Instagram all day. I understand outside media platforms are another thing.. but follow your friends here. Actually support them. Show them you care. That you're following them. Tell them what they want to hear from you. Its honestly simple. And if something does sound off.. ASK THEM WHAT THEY MEANT. Its honestly not that hard.

With all the issues we got these days (everyone suffers from something let's be real) anything can be taken the wrong way.
 

Chris Johnston

Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    408
    981
    26
    North Ayrshire, Scotland
    14
    I had no idea any of this was happening out with the school...It's sad to hear!



    There's absolutely no need for people to be slated behind other people's backs. This site should be an escape from those type of antics - as musicians with a common love, that should be common sense. We are all in the same boat regardless of how experienced or inexperienced we are.



    I understand that on a social site like this, friendships form, raport gets built among people and clique type situations will arise - it happens everywhere. It was the same in Music College for me personally. But you only notice these things when you're not part of them. Here I don't feel like theres a bad intent
    to it though - If you're active on here and post/interact regularly then you'll naturally be given more attention & support. It's the aim of the site after all 🤟 Help others and let the site motivate you to Improve!
     

    Alicia Willis

    Administrator
    Staff member
    Legend
  • Nov 11, 2019
    764
    3,157
    31
    Augusta, GA
    2
    I stepped away because of this. I was a daily poster who got no replies. And a big thing I got back was people thought I was defensive. Funny story. William asked me straight up if I was offended by his comments when he watched my recent video. It was actually the opposite. I'm unsure why the impression is i was offended but a simple question from hil solved the problem. He didn't assume he asked and I told him nah it was the opposite. A lot of what he said I liked. It proved my picture was painted.

    Point is.. if you just talk to them person rather then assume you'll find out they arent offended. The assumptions and gossip are what belittle things. I've always tried to be outspoken and give my opinions where I felt needed. While some wont always agree they respected it. I also had rebuttals i respected when if they werent what I wanted to hear. It goes both ways. And a debate is 100% harmless.. as long as it doesnt get personal.

    I'll admit I distanced myself from the school. Some people know why. Some will never understand. But I kept my eye out and have seen a lot of new faces here recently. The additions and perks added I think are very motivating. And while most may not be able to afford a legend status it's nice to see it rewarded. (My only suggestion is to keep an eye out for the non legends who simply cant afford it. Throw them s bone every now and then I think one seen most contests are legends only gear wise.. but for the legend status rewards I'd include everyone.. you may already be doing that I didnt read the details).

    Anyways. There were some i kept in touch and some I met while ive distanced myself. The ones who stuck it out with me I appreciate. I also removed quite a few people from my media st that time. This was merely to avoid the oncoming drama that may have came my way. And wasn't really nothing more then me pushing myself away from everyone. Anyone that wanted to reconnect the door is always there. I just ask one thing.

    Dont tell me you support me act like you do but not pay attention to a single thing I've done. I found many people tell me they would be there to support or help. Then come to find they dont follow me anywhere.. not even on the school. I try to follow everyone for the notifications. I check the pages but it's nice knowing when my friends post so I can find it faster. It seemed I followed many.. but didnt get it back. Then the natural assumptions that no work was ever being done. Not seeing the progress then seeing a video that was sloppy and saying "you're still doing the same things not taming my advice". Or not seeing you post anymore when you've live on Instagram all day. I understand outside media platforms are another thing.. but follow your friends here. Actually support them. Show them you care. That you're following them. Tell them what they want to hear from you. Its honestly simple. And if something does sound off.. ASK THEM WHAT THEY MEANT. Its honestly not that hard.

    With all the issues we got these days (everyone suffers from something let's be real) anything can be taken the wrong way.
    Calvin, you make a really great point with the story about a comment on your post.

    It’s very easy to read things in a different manner than what they were directed in. You cannot hear tone of voice or see body language and just simply asking can make such a huge impact on how we perceive what we are reading.
     

    Gemma G.S.

    Local Dive Bar Favorite
    Legend
  • Nov 11, 2019
    168
    516
    30
    Northern California
    1
    Calvin, you make a really great point with the story about a comment on your post.

    It’s very easy to read things in a different manner than what they were directed in. You cannot hear tone of voice or see body language and just simply asking can make such a huge impact on how we perceive what we are reading.

    Not that everyone needs to do this, because they don't, I'm just personally pumped full of anxiety and tend to do this just to overcompensate lmao: stuff like what Calvin mentioned is why you'll sometimes see me peppering all my posts with a bunch of emojis, because I wanna make sure people get the energy and intention I'm trying to convey. 😅
     
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    Kat the metalhead

    Music Theory Bragger
    Legend
  • Jan 20, 2020
    215
    836
    20
    Ontario Canada
    7
    Not that everyone needs to do this, because they don't, I'm just personally pumped full of anxiety and tend to do this just to overcompensate lmao: stuff like what Calvin mentioned is why you'll sometimes see me peppering all my posts with a bunch of emojis, because I wanna make sure people get the energy and intention I'm trying to convey. 😅
    i use a bunch of emojis also lol I thought I was the only who who used them for that reason hahaha
     

    Alicia Willis

    Administrator
    Staff member
    Legend
  • Nov 11, 2019
    764
    3,157
    31
    Augusta, GA
    2
    Not that everyone needs to do this, because they don't, I'm just personally pumped full of anxiety and tend to do this just to overcompensate lmao: stuff like what Calvin mentioned is why you'll sometimes see me peppering all my posts with a bunch of emojis, because I wanna make sure people get the energy and intention I'm trying to convey. 😅
    You are 100% correct and girl, do I feel that ! I tend to do the exact same or add in an “lol” or “haha” so people know I’m not being mean 🙂
     

    Calvin Phillips

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    2,263
    1,362
    Not that everyone needs to do this, because they don't, I'm just personally pumped full of anxiety and tend to do this just to overcompensate lmao: stuff like what Calvin mentioned is why you'll sometimes see me peppering all my posts with a bunch of emojis, because I wanna make sure people get the energy and intention I'm trying to convey. 😅
    The worst is sarcasm. You never know.. emotes do a great job in showing hey guys I'm JOKING.
     

    Calvin Phillips

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    2,263
    1,362
    Some people like me have social anxiety and dont really know how to talk to people. I didnt have real friends all through school so my social skills arent the best. So asking really helps because 99% of the time i just explained or over analyzed the situation and over confused you or used the wrong words in general.. etc. Many possibilities. This is another reason why people come off thinking I'm offended for example. Theres also the language barriers that come with an international school. We gotta keep the communication up.

    No assumptions.

    You'll make an ass out of you ...

    and me.
     

    Gemma G.S.

    Local Dive Bar Favorite
    Legend
  • Nov 11, 2019
    168
    516
    30
    Northern California
    1
    Some people like me have social anxiety and dont really know how to talk to people. I didnt have real friends all through school so my social skills arent the best. So asking really helps because 99% of the time i just explained or over analyzed the situation and over confused you or used the wrong words in general.. etc. Many possibilities. This is another reason why people come off thinking I'm offended for example. Theres also the language barriers that come with an international school. We gotta keep the communication up.

    No assumptions.

    You'll make an ass out of you ...

    and me.

    Agreed, on all points! We all just gotta be patient with each other. ☺️
     
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    Calvin Phillips

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    2,263
    1,362
    I myself have very little patience. But ive bit my tongue too. Ive tried to be kind to everyone. I've definitely had my slips. And I take full responsibility for those slips. Whether I was provoked or not. We cant allow that here. Those slips cost me and they will cost you too. It's best to avoid that behaviour. Jak always did it best. When she felt the pressure was too high shed take a break. Whether that pressure was school related or didnt matter. She knew when to shut down all platforms and worry about her. Wish I had that capability lol.
     

    John Robinson

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    329
    457
    Nashville tn.
    Hello fellow students...

    First I'd like to say that I'm saying this as a fellow student, not an admin. So please don't think I'm going on a tirade or being bossy and telling everyone what to do, how to act or what to say. I'm saying this as a student, and my experience with this site.

    I've had some exchanges with some students about the community aspect of this site. As an admin and the mother of this school, I tried so hard to get students to focus more on the lessons of this site. No matter how hard I tried, I feel like I failed at that endeavor. And that's fine. The focus was always, and for some reason still will always be, on the community side. And that's fine too. As Syn says himself, "Use this site however it best helps you."

    However, on Instagram some private group chats have formed. I advised against this as an admin from happening because I knew it would cause future issues. But I couldn't tell anyone what to do.

    Some people have opinions on this site. And that's great. What's NOT great, is voicing your opinion and then demonizing others for sharing theirs when they don't agree with you or even shutting them down before they can voice it. Calling fellow students "entitled", "stupid", and other horrible things I've seen, is never called for. I have had students sharing their sadness about the community of this site and how "cliquey" and "high school" it's become in some aspects due to favoritism and off-site chats on Instagram. It's leading to many students not knowing where they fit in here, or if they even belong here.

    I was practically here from the very beginning. And I've busted my ass off to make this place as good as I could during my reign here. Needless to say, some things that have been said about me fucking hurt. And they hurt... BADLY. Especially when I thought these people were my friends. I've never said anything mean or degrading about them, even when I was angry at them. If I was, I always said it to their faces.

    Bottom line is that students are talking about other students behind their backs. They're belittling them for not agreeing with them. They're commenting on other's riffs and ignoring someone else. Favorites are being shown. And some students have openly admitted to "testing people" just to see how far they can take their boundaries.

    I'm no longer an admin so I don't have to worry about saving face when I say "fuck that concept". It's bullshit bullying and it's rude. I have witnessed bullying and ganging up on other students on this site. If I didn't see it, the situation was brought to my attention.

    Yes I have had my opinions on other students. But I have told them my issues with them to their faces. And I've tried hard to resolve these issues. But these harsh Instagram chats have gotten the best of this site to where it's being shown as a "high school that's hard to fit into" and no longer an "awesome guitar site that where we are all welcomed."
    When I had private messages on here telling me "I would have commented on that but I know it would have caused a whole shit storm so I kept my opinions to myself", that's not okay. The fact that students on this site feel they have to have zipper lips or they'll be tarred and feathered is not cool. That's not this site. That's not OUR school.

    Also, people have made fun of me for offering Bill's private lessons to students on here (Not you Dominik. You always poke playful fun and never have called me the horrible names I've been called). When you all stop gossiping about bullshit in the Instagram chats and actually give advice (if you can) to those who need it on their riffs, maybe I'll stop doing that. When I stop having to counsel students about them being upset as to why no one corrected their mistakes and they now feel embarrassed, maybe I'll stop doing that.


    Needless to say, you all are welcomed here.

    If you're overweight, you're welcomed here.
    If you have a terrible camera, you're welcomed here.
    If you are republican, liberal, democrat, gay, straight, alien, cisgender whatever you are welcomed here.
    All opinions are respected here.
    We want to see you post your riffs.
    If you have PTSD, are pro-gun, anti-abortion, have severe anxiety or whatever, you're welcomed here.

    I will definitely be spending more time trying to give equal love here to everyone on the riffs because I have so much more to offer now. And I have more free time to do so since I stepped down.

    Also, feel free to leave your thoughts below. I'm sure I'll end up in one of those nasty private Instagram chats in some way shape or form, and honestly I've lost the energy to care. If you say bad shit about me then that's on you and your conscious. I'm just trying to be a voice for those who have came to me feeling they don't deserve to have one here.

    Much love and welcome to 2021. I hope we all like it here.
    I have a lot that i could say on this post but i wont...all i will say is..i dont get to play alot so i do what i can when i can"BUT!!!"This school is my sanctuary..i start pg's lessons and lose myself or go to the forums and check to see what others are doing ,it inspires me..i love everybody here..yall are my tribe...sure be ashame if we wake up one day and pg and syn got tired of the childish bullshit and shut it down permanently...just a little food for thought
     

    Ids Schiere

    Sold-out Crowd Surfer
    Legend
    Nov 11, 2019
    5,015
    5,711
    Groningen
    11
    For me personally, I can be pretty blunt and prefer to write my message as concise as I possible can. I know this may come across as rude sometimes so if I hurt anyone's feelings I apologise. At the same time my intention is never to hurt anyone so I can feel very misunderstood when that happens and it can really just piss me off a lot(that's the bad part of texting, it induces lots of noise in communication). Usually I distance myself and prefer to say nothing but there's definitely moments where somebody says or does something that pisses me off to the point where I can't do so, especially on a bad day I can be very 'why do I feel like I'm not listened to' and I can kinda just snap a little bit. It has happened in the school and outside the school and I probably was pretty rude in that moment so if anyone has perceived it as such I Apologize.
     

    Kim

    Garage band Groupie
    Nov 11, 2019
    244
    469
    Thanks for Sharing Jak, i didnt notice it myself on here or instagram.

    I just cant understand why people have to be so unkind/nasty/bullying. If you have an opionion, just hold it to yourself instead of publicing it on internet, than so many people wouldn't be hurt. Let everyone be who he/she is and respect them for being who they are. I hate ppl trowing every opinion internet and hurt others with it...
     

    Lindsey

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 16, 2019
    495
    1,217
    The Netherlands
    www.instagram.com
    10
    Bottom line is that students are talking about other students behind their backs. They're belittling them for not agreeing with them. They're commenting on other's riffs and ignoring someone else. Favorites are being shown. And some students have openly admitted to "testing people" just to see how far they can take their boundaries.
    This 100%. I've seen the inside of the Instagram chat, the people here are great but at the same time there's the negativity in the chat, the talking behind people's back, laughing at people even. It's not connected to this site but it did kill the social aspect and the motivation/stimulation this site had because people stopped communicating here as much as they did before (Think of the challenges and feedback etc) and many things seems to be an insider thing.
     
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    John Robinson

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    329
    457
    Nashville tn.
    For me personally, I can be pretty blunt and prefer to write my message as concise as I possible can. I know this may come across as rude sometimes so if I hurt anyone's feelings I apologise. At the same time my intention is never to hurt anyone so I can feel very misunderstood when that happens and it can really just piss me off a lot(that's the bad part of texting, it induces lots of noise in communication). Usually I distance myself and prefer to say nothing but there's definitely moments where somebody says or does something that pisses me off to the point where I can't do so, especially on a bad day I can be very 'why do I feel like I'm not listened to' and I can kinda just snap a little bit. It has happened in the school and outside the school and I probably was pretty rude in that moment so if anyone has perceived it as such I Apologize.
    Im quite sure you never crossed jaks mind when she wrote that...the problem is much bigger