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Special Message for the Holidays

RoaringRowanThunderBender

Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    Hey, $ynner fam! This post is going to be very near and personal to me...but I'm also using all the bravery I can to write it. I'm going to open up very intimately with all of you and also try to encourage anyone who feels anything similar over the past poo-ey year. I've been very absent from school lately because frankly it's been a bit too much to handle with everything else. Over the past few days, I've felt a little depressed and pretty much a bit burnt out as well. For those of you who don't know me and may not be very familiar with me as a friend, the main reason is that my grandpa got very sick a few months ago and he's still pretty sick (and we're extremely close and have gotten even closer since his illness). Over the course of him being sick, I've taken on quite a few more chores and also the main position of being his caretaker pretty much and have had to deal with other bullshit on top. When he first got very sick, my mental health took a nosedive. Especially when all he would do is sleep and not much of anything. Then some mornings he'd wake up and have no idea where he was, and I'd do my best to completely hide how I felt until I could go outside to do my chores and just break down... I was having breakdowns daily...every single morning. It got to the point I thought I'd lose him and we were calling family to come to see him...before we thought he'd y'know....

    But I'm lucky to have made some of the special friends I have here, and they have helped me change my mindset and the way I think drastically. Instead of, "oh my god, he's going to die, I won't see him again"...I went to, "I get one more day with you and I'm thankful for that..." And there have been some $ynners that are just literally lights and angels in my life seriously...and I have no idea what I would do without them. I can't imagine life without them as my friends anymore. My grandpa is still sick and has bad days, but nowhere near like he was. I worked my ass off to try to just get him back on his feet and convince myself that "everything's going to be okay" and "life is going to be so much more than I dreamed or ever imagined it could be". I continued to push myself to work on my guitar and music through it all. Some kind sponsors gave me the gift of two lessons with Bill to look forward to. And there have been days where they've just made me so thankful to know them and had me completely breaking down because I was just so happy I hadn't committed suicide in the sixth grade and gotten to meet them and where I am as a person and musician as I am today.

    And let me tell you, today is one of my grandpa's bad days and it's also one of mine. Like I feel so down and burnt out and honestly, I don't want to do anything but sit here and cry. I don't feel like practicing or even watching my pretty jrock boys from Kiryu to laugh. So I wanted to make this post because sometimes the holidays are very difficult and very shitty...even without a pandemic to worry about for some. Thank you to those that have been kind and uplifting and supportive and showing nothing but love and constructive criticism at times. You have no idea what people are going through or how much it truly affects someone. You really can be a ray of light for some without ever realizing how beautifully you've touched them and just helped them continue on through their day. You have no idea how much you all have made me want to keep trying to wiggle and struggle on when I thought I just honestly couldn't. I hope you all know how much you are loved and appreciated. And I hope this thread gives others a chance to make some wonderful friends on here like I have been blessed to.

    For those of you wondering, I tried to get my grandpa to the doctor, and no matter what he would not go...and he would get extremely cantankerous. Finally, last night he had my mother call to have a doctor set up and make a home visit and we're taking that step by step. My mental health is very good most days, but today is one of my more emotional ones.

    Oh! I wanted to also happily announce that the entire month of November, I worked on a song with a friend...even with all of this still going on. I'm hoping I'll be able to share a little something soon when I can. Never give up on your dreams. It's ok to take breaks when it becomes too much, but I feel we can create some of our most beautiful artworks utilizing emotions.

    Anyway, thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. All my love and thank you so much for helping without ever even truly knowing at times...You are all my little will o' wisps and so very special in many amazing ways. Please take good care of yourselves this holiday and feel free to come to this thread for some extra holiday lovings.

    And trust me...for some very bad and horrendous moments, there are some breathtaking and extremely beautiful ones to heal them. Don't let a little rain put out your fire. Keep shining and make sure others get to see your light.
     
    Last edited:

    Ids Schiere

    Sold-out Crowd Surfer
    Legend
    Nov 11, 2019
    5,010
    5,701
    Groningen
    11
    You already told me some of this stuff already but damn this is tough. If you ever need somebody to talk to you know where to find me!

    Also, I'm pretty excited for your song! Hopefully we'll get to hear it soon!
     

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    You already told me some of this stuff already but damn this is tough. If you ever need somebody to talk to you know where to find me!

    Also, I'm pretty excited for your song! Hopefully we'll get to hear it soon!
    I know it. It is tough...but somehow I feel my reward is greater. Thank you for being one of my closest friends on the school.

    Thank you. I'm hoping so too! I've been working pretty hard on it.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: Ids Schiere

    Christian Schulze

    Hot Topic Tourer
    Legend
    Nov 11, 2019
    478
    1,596
    26
    Spain
    4
    My beloved lefty Systa. This shitty year really fucked with us. And all we can do at times like these is taking it day by day. Trying to put our best foot forward is all we can do.

    So sorry to hear all you been through, specially with your grandfather.
     

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    My beloved lefty Systa. This shitty year really fucked with us. And all we can do at times like these is taking it day by day. Trying to put our best foot forward is all we can do.

    So sorry to hear all you been through, specially with your grandfather.
    My lefty bro ♥ It really has, and that's true. But I have full faith that the best things are coming for all of us next year since we've been trying so hard. ;)

    Thank you
     

    ari.mac

    Local Dive Bar Favorite
    Legend
  • Jul 16, 2020
    427
    1,602
    Italy
    0
    Ro, this was so incredibly brave of you and all my respect for how you take care of your grandad, I feel your pain. Unfortunately I lost all of my grandparents already, enjoy the moments you have with him as they are going to stay with you forever and ever 🖤 on a happier note, can't wait to hear your song!!! I bet it's killer!
    I know it's not been long since we "met" but I'm here for you if you ever need anything.
    So proud of you Fire Lily 🔥
     
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    Ro, this was so incredibly brave of you and all my respect for how you take care of your grandad, I feel your pain. Unfortunately I lost all of my grandparents already, enjoy the moments you have with him as they are going to stay with you forever and ever 🖤 on a happier note, can't wait to hear your song!!! I bet it's killer!
    I know it's not been long since we "met" but I'm here for you if you ever need anything.
    So proud of you Fire Lily 🔥
    Thank you for all the love and support since we've met Ari! I'm trying to do my best. And I may have just posted a tiny lyrical snippet of it ;) Though it's not exactly how it's sung. ♥
     
    • Love
    Reactions: ari.mac

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    I hope you know you are not alone, you are our little $yster and we love you very much. We are always here if you need someone to talk to. You've come a long way in your journey Miss Ro!
    Can't wait to hear your song! :)
    I do, thanks to all of you. Thank you Ms. Ailee 😊 Hope you guys enjoy the little snippet I've posted
     

    Kat the metalhead

    Music Theory Bragger
    Legend
  • Jan 20, 2020
    213
    836
    20
    Ontario Canada
    7
    So proud of you oneesan!! ( I got it right this time lol ) you already know how much I love and care about you!! but I needed to say it again hahah. Just keep thinking good thoughts and cherish the time you have with him now and all the memories! He loves you so so much I can just tell by the photos you sent me 🥰 your so so strong! Also very brave for coming here and sharing your struggles! Luv ya😘😘
     

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    So proud of you oneesan!! ( I got it right this time lol ) you already know how much I love and care about you!! but I needed to say it again hahah. Just keep thinking good thoughts and cherish the time you have with him now and all the memories! He loves you so so much I can just tell by the photos you sent me 🥰 your so so strong! Also very brave for coming here and sharing your struggles! Luv ya😘😘
    Thank you, imouto-chan~ Yes ma'am, I do. 🥰 I'm trying my best. I love you too!
     
    • Love
    Reactions: Kat the metalhead
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    John Robinson

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    329
    457
    Nashville tn.
    Hey, $ynner fam! This post is going to be very near and personal to me...but I'm also using all the bravery I can to write it. I'm going to open up very intimately with all of you and also try to encourage anyone who feels anything similar over the past poo-ey year. I've been very absent from school lately because frankly it's been a bit too much to handle with everything else. Over the past few days, I've felt a little depressed and pretty much a bit burnt out as well. For those of you who don't know me and may not be very familiar with me as a friend, the main reason is that my grandpa got very sick a few months ago and he's still pretty sick (and we're extremely close and have gotten even closer since his illness). Over the course of him being sick, I've taken on quite a few more chores and also the main position of being his caretaker pretty much and have had to deal with other bullshit on top. When he first got very sick, my mental health took a nosedive. Especially when all he would do is sleep and not much of anything. Then some mornings he'd wake up and have no idea where he was, and I'd do my best to completely hide how I felt until I could go outside to do my chores and just break down... I was having breakdowns daily...every single morning. It got to the point I thought I'd lose him and we were calling family to come to see him...before we thought he'd y'know....

    But I'm lucky to have made some of the special friends I have here, and they have helped me change my mindset and the way I think drastically. Instead of, "oh my god, he's going to die, I won't see him again"...I went to, "I get one more day with you and I'm thankful for that..." And there have been some $ynners that are just literally lights and angels in my life seriously...and I have no idea what I would do without them. I can't imagine life without them as my friends anymore. My grandpa is still sick and has bad days, but nowhere near like he was. I worked my ass off to try to just get him back on his feet and convince myself that "everything's going to be okay" and "life is going to be so much more than I dreamed or ever imagined it could be". I continued to push myself to work on my guitar and music through it all. Some kind sponsors gave me the gift of two lessons with Bill to look forward to. And there have been days where they've just made me so thankful to know them and had me completely breaking down because I was just so happy I hadn't committed suicide in the sixth grade and gotten to meet them and where I am as a person and musician as I am today.

    And let me tell you, today is one of my grandpa's bad days and it's also one of mine. Like I feel so down and burnt out and honestly, I don't want to do anything but sit here and cry. I don't feel like practicing or even watching my pretty jrock boys from Kiryu to laugh. So I wanted to make this post because sometimes the holidays are very difficult and very shitty...even without a pandemic to worry about for some. Thank you to those that have been kind and uplifting and supportive and showing nothing but love and constructive criticism at times. You have no idea what people are going through or how much it truly affects someone. You really can be a ray of light for some without ever realizing how beautifully you've touched them and just helped them continue on through their day. You have no idea how much you all have made me want to keep trying to wiggle and struggle on when I thought I just honestly couldn't. I hope you all know how much you are loved and appreciated. And I hope this thread gives others a chance to make some wonderful friends on here like I have been blessed to.

    For those of you wondering, I tried to get my grandpa to the doctor, and no matter what he would not go...and he would get extremely cantankerous. Finally, last night he had my mother call to have a doctor set up and make a home visit and we're taking that step by step. My mental health is very good most days, but today is one of my more emotional ones.

    Oh! I wanted to also happily announce that the entire month of November, I worked on a song with a friend...even with all of this still going on. I'm hoping I'll be able to share a little something soon when I can. Never give up on your dreams. It's ok to take breaks when it becomes too much, but I feel we can create some of our most beautiful artworks utilizing emotions.

    Anyway, thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. All my love and thank you so much for helping without ever even truly knowing at times...You are all my little will o' wisps and so very special in many amazing ways. Please take good care of yourselves this holiday and feel free to come to this thread for some extra holiday lovings.

    And trust me...for some very bad and horrendous moments, there are some breathtaking and extremely beautiful ones to heal them. Don't let a little rain put out your fire. Keep shining and make sure others get to see your light.
    Coming from somebody that had the gun in his mouth...dont do it..youre here for a reason..there would be a big hole in the school without you..if you need an ear i have an extra one..much love and i cant wait to hear your song
     

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    Coming from somebody that had the gun in his mouth...dont do it..youre here for a reason..there would be a big hole in the school without you..if you need an ear i have an extra one..much love and i cant wait to hear your song
    Oh, John...that means a lot, thank you. I appreciate that so much. I hope it’s one you guys will enjoy.
     
    • Love
    Reactions: John Robinson

    Adin Shepherd

    Music Theory Bragger
    Nov 11, 2019
    425
    725
    Melbourne, Australia
    Wow, that is a lot of responsibility to take on Rowan, your Grandfather is very lucky to have you in his corner. Good to hear he is opening up to treatment and I hope the doctors visit helps.

    All the best for the Holidays and I hope the New Year is a positive one for you (and for all).
     

    Mariler Ferrer

    Local Dive Bar Favorite
    Legend
    Nov 11, 2019
    238
    921
    47
    Zaragoza, Spain
    3
    Sorry to hear you are going through so much Ro. Sometimes we have to face really tough moments in life and this year has been specially heartbreaking for you. You've been very brave to share and I see a fighter in you.
    You are very special and deserve all the best. You have your friends here whenever you need. I hope things get better soon for you.

    Can't wait to hear your song!!! This is exciting.

    Enjoy your Holidays. Take care and keep shining ❤️
     
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    RoaringRowanThunderBender

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
    205
    767
    25
    Warrenton, NC
    rowm76.wixsite.com
    6
    I'm not sure if we've ever spoken, but by the sounds of this post you're incredibly strong and resilient, and by the above comments, LOVED! I'm glad you're here and that your grandpa agreed to get the help he needs. 💕
    I don't think we have! It's nice to meet you. Thank you for commenting. I'm really thankful for all the $ynners on here. And that's definitely something I'm happy for too.
     
    • Love
    Reactions: Gemma G.S.